Quotes by
Fred Allen |
1894-1956 , American comedian
John Florence Sullivan, known professionally as Fred Allen, was an American comedian whose absurdist, topically-pointed radio program The Fred Allen Show (1932–1949) made him one of the most popular humorists in the Golden Age of American radio. | 29 quotes | 1,410 visits |
Quotations
| • | A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it. 4 |
| • | It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips. 2 |
| • | Television is the triumph of machine over people. 2 |
| • | I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin. 2 |
Funny Quotes
| • | If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race. 8 |
| • | A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done. 6 |
| • | My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense. 5 |
| • | Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. 4 |
| • | I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. 3 |
| • | Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners. 3 |
| • | A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. 3 |
| • | Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done. 3 |
| • | Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything. 3 |
| • | English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve. 3 |
| • | I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is. 3 |
| • | During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk. 3 |
| • | I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. 2 |
| • | Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans. 2 |
| • | Imitation is the sincerest form of television. 2 |
| • | An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission. 2 |
| • | What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement. 2 |
| • | He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone. 2 |
| • | A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary. 2 |
| • | Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. 2 |
| • | California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange. 2 |
| • | Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars. 2 |
| • | I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there. 2 |
| • | I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars. 2 |
| • | Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent. 2 |
