quotes

The Best Quotations

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Quotes with Profanity

obscene

Obscene or profane or vulgar or dirty or just sexy quotes.

Life

Lenny BruceLife is a four letter word.

—  Lenny Bruce, 1925-1966, American comedian

5 likes

Face

George CarlinShe was only a prostitute, but she had the nicest face I ever came across.

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

4 likes

Beliefs

Scarface (1983)Was it legal? FUCK legal! Not nice? FUCK nice! The nation says I’m not nice? FUCK THE NATION!

—  from the film Scarface (1983)

5 likes

Memory

Barbara BushClinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.

—  Barbara Bush, 1925-2018, wife of the 41st USA president

15 likes

Appearance

Scarface (1983)You have a look in your eye like you haven’t been fucked in a year.

—  from the film Scarface (1983)

7 likes

Sorrow

Frank ZappaBroken hearts are for assholes.

—  Frank Zappa, 1940-1993, American musician

     (song title from the album “Sheik Yerbouti”, 1977)

11 likes

Refusal

George CarlinThings you never hear: “Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police.”

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

9 likes

Explanations

Dorothy ParkerTell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa.

—  Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, American writer, poet, satirist, critic

6 likes

Men & Women

Quentin CrispMen get laid, but women get screwed.

—  Quentin Crisp, 1908-1999, British writer

4 likes

Sex

Bette DavisShe has slept with every male star at MGM except Lassie.

—  Bette Davis, 1908-1989, American actress

     (on rival Joan Crawfor)

12 likes
George CarlinI never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos.

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

10 likes
AnonymousLet's f ck; all I need is “u”

—  Anonymous

7 likes
George CarlinHave you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature.

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

6 likes
Dorothy ParkerTell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa.

—  Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, American writer, poet, satirist, critic

6 likes
Karl KrausA woman is, occasionally, quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

—  Karl Kraus, 1874-1936, Austrian writer

6 likes
Oscar LevantNow that Marilyn Monroe is kosher, Arthur Miller can eat her.

—  Oscar Levant, 1906-1972, American pianist

4 likes

Prostitution

Marlen DietrichA country without bordellos is like a house without bathrooms.

—  Marlen Dietrich, 1901-1992, German-American actress

6 likes
George CarlinI don’t understand why prostitution is illegal. Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn’t selling fucking legal? You know, why should it be illegal to sell something that’s perfectly legal to give away?

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

5 likes

Marriage

AnonymousDon't get down on one knee for a woman who won't get down on two for you.

—  Anonymous

12 likes

Woman

AnonymousA world without women? Certainly is a pain on each guys ass!

—  Anonymous

6 likes

Arguing

George CarlinYou can’t argue with a good blowjob.

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

6 likes

Revolution

AnonymousIf men couldn't fuck there'd be a bounty on their heads.

—  Anonymous

4 likes

Cities

George CarlinCalifornia is a small woman saying, 'Fuck me.' New York is a large man saying, 'Fuck you!'

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

5 likes

War & Peace

George CarlinFighting for peace is like screwing for virginity

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

5 likes

Television

George CarlinIn TV today, you can say I pricked my finger, but you can't say it the other way around.

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

3 likes

Imagination

Karl KrausA woman is, occasionally, quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

—  Karl Kraus, 1874-1936, Austrian writer

6 likes

Promises

Frank ZappaI promise not to come in your mouth.

—  Frank Zappa, 1940-1993, American musician

     (title of a short instrumental ballad in the 1977 album “Zappa in New York”)

4 likes

Being Busy

Dorothy ParkerTell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa.

—  Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, American writer, poet, satirist, critic

6 likes

Computers

AnonymousI tried setting my hotmail password to 'penis'. It said my password wasn't long enough.

—  Anonymous

3 likes

Doctors

George CarlinI wanted to get a job as a gynecologist, but I couldn't find an opening.

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

10 likes

Career

Marilyn MonroeWell, that's the last cock I'll ever have to suck.

—  Marilyn Monroe, 1926-1962, American actress

11 likes

Economy

Xaviera HollanderWhen the stocks go up, the cocks go up!

—  Xaviera Hollander, 1943-, Dutch call girl & author

4 likes

Drinking

George CarlinInstead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

6 likes

Cinema

Bette DavisShe has slept with every male star at MGM except Lassie.

—  Bette Davis, 1908-1989, American actress

     (on rival Joan Crawfor)

12 likes

Control

George CarlinFighting for peace is like screwing for virginity

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

5 likes

Suffering

AnonymousA world without women? Certainly is a pain on each guys ass!

—  Anonymous

6 likes

Holes

George CarlinI wanted to get a job as a gynecologist, but I couldn't find an opening.

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

10 likes



lovers

 
relevant quote
At the heart of pornography is sexuality haunted by its own disappearance.
Jean Baudrillard





 

2024: Manolis Papathanassiou