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Quotations

SenecaReligion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful.

—  Seneca, 4 AD-65 AD, Roman philosopher

4 likes
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.Your religion is what you do when the sermon is over.

—  H. Jackson Brown, Jr., 1940-, American self-help writer

2 likes
George CarlinReligion is just mind control.

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

1 likes
Timothy LearyEach religion has got their own way of making you feel like a victim.

—  Timothy Leary, 1920-1996, American psychologist

1 likes
George CarlinReligion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

1 likes
Dave BarryPeople who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

—  Dave Barry, 1947-, American journalist

1 likes
SocratesCrito, we owe a cock to Aesculapius. Pay it and do not neglect it.

—  Socrates, 469-399 BC, Ancient Geek Philosopher

     (his last words to his friend Crito)

NapoleonReligious wars are basically people killing each other over who has the better imaginary friend.

—  Napoleon, 1769-1821, French Emperor

Arthur ClarkeThe greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion.

—  Arthur Clarke, 1917-2008, British Sci-Fi writer

Karl MarxReligion is the opium of the people.

—  Karl Marx, 1818-1883, German philosopher

NapoleonKiss the feet of Popes provided their hands are tied.

—  Napoleon, 1769-1821, French Emperor

Arthur ClarkeReligion is a byproduct of fear.

—  Arthur Clarke, 1917-2008, British Sci-Fi writer

Emile M. CioranGood health is the best weapon against religion. Healthy bodies and healthy minds have never been shaken by religious fears.

—  Emile M. Cioran, 1911-1995, French-Romanian philosopher

Emile M. CioranReligion comforts us for the defeat of our will to power. It adds new worlds to ours, and thus brings us hope of new conquests and new victories.

—  Emile M. Cioran, 1911-1995, French-Romanian philosopher

NapoleonReligion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet. Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.

—  Napoleon, 1769-1821, French Emperor

Charles Caleb ColtonPhilosophy is a bully that talks loud when the danger is at a distant; but, the moment she is pressed hard by an enemy, she is nowhere to be found and leaves the brunt of the battle to be fought by her steady, humble comrade, religion.

—  Charles Caleb Colton, 1780-1832, English cleric & writer

Will DurantThe Greeks offered the East philosophy, the East offered Greece religion; religion won because philosophy was a luxury for the few, religion was a consolation for the many.

—  Will Durant, 1885-1981, American historian & philosopher

NapoleonI am surrounded by priests who repeat incessantly that their kingdom is not of this world, and yet they lay hands on everything they can get.

—  Napoleon, 1769-1821, French Emperor

NapoleonYou don't govern men who don't have religion, you shoot them.

—  Napoleon, 1769-1821, French Emperor

George Bernard ShawBeware of the man whose god is in the skies.

—  George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950, Irish writer, Nobel 1925

George Bernard ShawThere is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.

—  George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950, Irish writer, Nobel 1925

Blaise PascalMen never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.

—  Blaise Pascal, 1623-1662, French thinker

Mahatma GandhiFor me the different religions are beautiful flowers from the same garden, or they are branches of the same majestic tree.

—  Mahatma Gandhi, 1869-1948, Indian leader of independence

Mahatma GandhiGod has no religion.

—  Mahatma Gandhi, 1869-1948, Indian leader of independence

Mahatma GandhiIn reality there are as many religions as there are individuals.

—  Mahatma Gandhi, 1869-1948, Indian leader of independence

Michel de MontaigneMan is certainly crazy. He could not make a mite, and he makes gods by the dozen.

—  Michel de Montaigne, 1533-1592, French thinker

Benjamin FranklinIf men are so wicked with religion, what would they be if without it?

—  Benjamin Franklin, 1706-1790, American politician & writer

Karl MarxReligion is the impotence of the human mind to deal with occurrences it cannot understand.

—  Karl Marx, 1818-1883, German philosopher

Baruch SpinozaI do not know how to teach philosophy without becoming a disturber of established religion.

—  Baruch Spinoza, 1632-1677, Dutch philosopher

Arthur SchopenhauerI have described religion as the metaphysics of the people.

—  Arthur Schopenhauer, 1788-1860, German philosopher

Arthur SchopenhauerPhilosophy of religion really amounts to philosophizing on certain favorite assumptions that are not confirmed at all.

—  Arthur Schopenhauer, 1788-1860, German philosopher

Arthur SchopenhauerReligion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training, for it trains people as to how they shall think.

—  Arthur Schopenhauer, 1788-1860, German philosopher

Arthur SchopenhauerThe bad thing about all religions is that, instead of being able to confess their allegorical nature, they have to conceal it.

—  Arthur Schopenhauer, 1788-1860, German philosopher

H.L. MenckenFor centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

—  H.L. Mencken, 1880-1956, American columnist & cultural critic

H.L. MenckenThe chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore.

—  H.L. Mencken, 1880-1956, American columnist & cultural critic

David HumeGenerally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous.

—  David Hume, 1711-1776, Scottish philosopher

Mark TwainThe easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

—  Mark Twain, 1835-1910, American writer

Abraham LincolnWhen I do good I feel good, when I do bad I feel bad, and that's my religion.

—  Abraham Lincoln, 1809-1865, American President

Oscar WildeTruth, in the matters of religion, is simply the opinion that has survived.

—  Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900, Irish writer

Niccolò MachiavelliThere is nothing more important than appearing to be religious.

—  Niccolò Machiavelli, 1469-1527, Italian political philosopher

Lord ChesterfieldReligion is by no means a proper subject of conversation in a mixed company.

—  Lord Chesterfield, 1694-1773, English statesman & writer

Charles Caleb ColtonMen will wrangle for religion, write for it, fight for it, die for it; anything but live for it.

—  Charles Caleb Colton, 1780-1832, English cleric & writer

VoltaireReligion began when the first scoundrel met the first fool.

—  Voltaire, 1694-1778, French philosopher & writer

G. K. ChestertonIt is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it.

—  G. K. Chesterton, 1874-1936, English writer & critic

Thomas PaineAny system of religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be true.

—  Thomas Paine, 1737-1809, English-American writer

Will DurantAs long as there is poverty there will be gods.

—  Will Durant, 1885-1981, American historian & philosopher

Will DurantThere is no significant example in history, before our time, of a society successfully maintaining moral life without the aid of religion.

—  Will Durant, 1885-1981, American historian & philosopher

Sigmund FreudCruelty and intolerance to those who do not belong to it are natural to every religion.

—  Sigmund Freud, 1856-1939, Austrian psychologist, founder of psychoanalysis

Sigmund FreudReligious ideas have sprung from the same need as all the other achievements of culture: from the necessity for defending itself against the crushing supremacy of nature.

—  Sigmund Freud, 1856-1939, Austrian psychologist, founder of psychoanalysis

Sigmund FreudWhere the questions of religion are concerned people are guilty of every possible kind of insincerity and intellectual misdemeanor.

—  Sigmund Freud, 1856-1939, Austrian psychologist, founder of psychoanalysis

Sigmund FreudReligion is an illusion and it derives its strength from the fact that it falls in with our instinctual desires.

—  Sigmund Freud, 1856-1939, Austrian psychologist, founder of psychoanalysis

Alfred North WhiteheadReligion is the last refuge of human savagery.

—  Alfred North Whitehead, 1861-1947, British philosopher & mathematician

George SantayanaReligions are not true or false, but better or worse.

—  George Santayana, 1863-1952, Spanish-American philosopher

Elbert HubbardIf your religion does not change you, then you had better change your religion.

—  Elbert Hubbard, 1856-1915, American writer

Karl KrausWhen a culture feels that its end has come, it sends for a priest.

—  Karl Kraus, 1874-1936, Austrian writer

William JamesReligion is a monumental chapter in the history of human egotism.

—  William James, 1842-1910, American philosopher

Walt WhitmanI say the whole earth and all the stars in the sky are for religion’s sake.

—  Walt Whitman, 1819-1892, American poet

Jean Jacques RousseauReligious persecutors are not believers, they are rascals.

—  Jean Jacques Rousseau, 1712-1778, Swiss-French philosopher

Arthur ClarkeUntil we get rid of religion, we won't be able to conduct the search for God.

—  Arthur Clarke, 1917-2008, British Sci-Fi writer

Arthur ClarkeReligion is the most malevolent of all mind viruses.

—  Arthur Clarke, 1917-2008, British Sci-Fi writer

Jean Jacques RousseauAs soon as the nations took to making God speak, every one made him speak in his own fashion, and made him say what he himself wanted. Had they listened only to what God says in the heart of man, there would have been but one religion upon earth.

—  Jean Jacques Rousseau, 1712-1778, Swiss-French philosopher

Arthur ClarkeScience can destroy religion by ignoring it as well as by disproving its tenets. No one ever demonstrated, so far as I am aware, the non-existence of Zeus or Thor — but they have few followers now.

—  Arthur Clarke, 1917-2008, British Sci-Fi writer

Sigmund FreudReligion is an attempt to get control over the sensory world, in which we are placed, by means of the wish-world, which we have developed inside us as a result of biological and psychological necessities.

—  Sigmund Freud, 1856-1939, Austrian psychologist, founder of psychoanalysis


Personal Stories

Benjamin DisraeliMadam, I am the blank page between the Old Testament and the New.

—  Benjamin Disraeli, 1804-1881, British Prime Minister

     (answer to Queen Victoria’s question “what is your real religion?”)


Funny Quotes

Dave BarryThe problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

—  Dave Barry, 1947-, American journalist

1 likes
George CarlinI was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam.

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

1 likes
George Carlin“When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

1 likes
George CarlinThe only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

1 likes
Ambrose BierceReligion, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

—  Ambrose Bierce, 1842–1914, American writer

TalleyrandI found there a country with thirty-two religions and only one sauce.

—  Talleyrand, 1754-1838, French statesman & diplomat


Proverbs

Yiddish proverbThe nearer to the synagogue, the farther from God.

—  Yiddish proverb

1 likes

Movie Quotes

Quiz Show 1994You wanna be worshipped? Go to India and moo.

—  from the film Quiz Show 1994










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2017: Manolis Papathanassiou